I never really had a girlfriend before.

I remember walking up the old high school stairs to my locker one winter morning. I remember it clearly because of how cold the weather was outside and my mom not letting me leave the house without a few layers on to stay warm. As I was walking up the stairs I remember these guys next to me. Both of whom were the “popular” people. They had the looks, the charm, they were funny, and every girl liked them. Everyone thought they were cool, except for me. As I made my way up the steps minding my own business the one guy looked at me with his friend and they started to just make some stupid jokes about me. Ryan, one of the popular guys said, “Like it really matters, this kid never will get a girlfriend.” This is someone who you define as an asshole, and to this day he still is an asshole.

School was tough for me. Every day it seemed like I was picked on by the preps and laughed at by the rest. This all led me to feel insecure about who I was and even led me to attempt suicide a couple times. I was always the shorter guy, I wasn’t as big as everyone else, I wasn’t funny, I didn’t feel as smart, and I surely wasn’t the handsome one girls would talk to. All through school these things kept me avoiding trying to talk to the pretty girls or anyone. I was always the one picked on and made fun of, and I didn’t have enough confidence to stand up for myself. It seemed like wherever I was in school someone had to make a joke or try to make me feel sad. One day my French teacher even pull me aside to tell me not to worry about what everyone else said and one day I’ll be better then everyone.  I felt pretty embarrassed at this point.

A couple years later here I am and It looks like her statement was right. Back in my high school days I felt a lot of pain and depression. I feel the same can be said for people these days as well. As society lies to us and tries to shape us into someone we aren’t, we believe certain things that trigger our mind. Things people say to us to put us down and make us feel sad. I have always seen this happen in fashion, in school, with friends, and even with myself. People are always going to try and make you feel bad about who you are and what you look like. They may tell you things like you’re worthless, ugly, weird, fat, skinny, or even stupid. But the truth is, you’re not any of those and you shouldn't let what people say to you get to you.

I have seen this happen with a lot of girls. Guys will say something mean and judge a girl for the way they look or for who they are. One girl I know who makes a big impact in other lives is Nadia Aboulhosn. Nadia is a plus size model and fashion blogger who has been featured in magazines all over from Lucky to Italian Vogue and even Buzz Feed. She flaunts her curves and assets and walks the streets of New York City with body confidence. She’s fly as fuck and embraces everything about her. I love her style and truly inspired with how amazing she is. I would love to hang out with her someday. So hey Nadia if you ever want to hangout, I’ll buy us both pizza.

People are mean and will always judge you for something or another. It may be that pasta and meatballs stain on your shirt from the day before or it may be that you aren’t the tallest kid in school. To this day I still remember that comment Ryan said to me and when I look back at it it doesn’t bother me. I am happy who I am and where I am at in life. I only been with one girl and it didn’t really last long so in fact, I never really had a girlfriend and that’s okay with me. I’m independent, I spend money for no one, I focus on my career with fashion and Hollywood, work on my blog, go to school, hang with friends, and a lot other cool things. Yeah it would be nice to have a girlfriend and go on dates and talk to someone all the time. Life would be more interesting for me to be able to share all those things I do with someone else, but until then I am fine with myself.

Working in the fashion industry in such a superficial environment you learn to love yourself. Today I can stand next to a 6 foot male or female model and not feel any jealously for their beauty or features and still love myself. I feel grateful for everything and the fact that I didn’t hurt myself when I was little. Love yourself and don’t party to what others say.

"Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it." -Morrie

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Mahipal SoCal & @mahipal_socal